Step 69: What happened to Step 68?

Life is not always butterflies and pretty flowers, sunny skies and super powers, silver streams and fluffy kitties. Sometimes it's laser beams and rubble cities. (And yes, I was quoting a movie. Ten thousand points to the person who can name it.)

Sometimes you have an off day that bleeds over into an off week, and when you try to write about what your feeling and how you need to focus on the positives, it just sends you into a downward spiral that lasts an entire month. Fun times. :)

I decided right after I wrote that extremely negative blog post that it would never see the light of day. No need to put my problems on other people. But, I do think it's an important (albeit, depressing) step that everyone will go through multiple times after college (hell, unless you're a robot incapable of emotions, you've probably already felt the uncontrollable tears of hopelessness).

You're going to have stretches in your life where you're sad and frustrated and snap at people you care about. You're going to have a list of things you want to accomplish but not have the motivation to complete. You're going to fall into a place where even Disney movies can't help you.

But you can climb your way back out.

As you know, climbing is always harder than falling. It'll take more time to reach a state of contentedness than it did to become depressed. Try not to feel bad about this. You'll get there eventually if you keep moving forward. (And yes, not only did I start this blog post with a quote, I ended it with one. Different movie. Another ten thousand points).

So my question to you is: What do you do to get yourself out of a funk? As hard as it can be sometimes, I've found that the best thing to do is keep busy--hang out with friends, exercise, the sort of stuff that doesn't let me think too deeply about things.
And my challenge to you: If you're feeling down, talk to someone. A friend, family members, heck, go see someone professional if you have to. Like I said before, unless they're a robot, EVERYONE has experienced what you're going through to some degree. You might not want to talk about what's been bugging you, but it does help.

Step 67: Get an Honorable Mention

I had mentioned this in the ridiculous rough draft of Step 66, but it got cut out during editing. I'd still like to share it with you all, so, ta-da! Two posts in one day! That's probably more amazing than getting an honorable mention in The Current in Noblesville's Halloween Writing Contest.

It was a real confidence booster to see this, especially after last month. It reminded me that I'm not terrible. :) The newspaper says you can read mine and everyone else's stories online, but you can actually only read the two winners. If you want to read mine, it's below (and it's short!).

So, my question to you: What did you do for Halloween?
And my challenge to you: Try not to eat the giant Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Pumpkin that your mom got you in one sitting--you'll most likely regret it. :P

Second Best

I am the second best runner on the team.

That’s the thought that keeps going through my head as I sprint down the darkening path.

I am the second best runner on Noblesville High School’s cross country team. I can outrun it.

It. I don’t even know what “it” is.

When I first spotted it down by the river, just past the one-mile marker at Potter’s Bridge, I thought it was a large panther. A panther would have been surprising enough—the most you might see in Hamilton County are coyotes—but then this thing stood up! It stood up on its hind legs, and it was taller than me! I’m a senior on the boy’s cross country team, and I’m not short by any standards.

While it stood there, staring at me with glowing red eyes, I couldn’t move. Just had to stare back at its muscle-ripped body balancing on two huge paws. Then it screamed and dropped to all fours again. The scream was like my sister’s when I used to drop spiders on her head from the top of the stairs—high pitched and filled with terror and hate. The scream broke the trance of its blazing eyes and sent me running.

I’m second best.

I hear its claws scratching against the pavement as it closes the distance between us.

“HELP!”

It’s piercing scream is the only response to my cry.

Stupid. Save your breath. There’s nobody out on the trails. Not at this time of night. I shouldn’t even be out here.

I suck in more oxygen, pump my arms harder. Sweat or tears run down my face. I’m not sure which. Probably both. I can’t see anything ahead of me—can’t tell how far I am from the parking lot.

Second best. Second best. Second best.

Something furry brushes against my right arm. I shouldn’t look. I know I shouldn’t. But I can’t help it. My eye’s flicker over.

It’s racing along side me, grinning with long fangs, saliva spilling from its mouth and slapping my legs. I don’t even have enough air to scream. It stays at pace with me a moment more before pulling ahead. It gets a few meters in front of me before skidding to a stop and turning to face me.

I was only second best.

Step 66: Overcome Your Paralysis

Ha! Wow, you really don't want to read the first draft that I wrote of this blog post! I've been told by multiple teachers and authors that you should just write whenever you're doing a first draft. Don't stop to think about the logistics of what you're saying. Don't go back to correct the grammar mistakes or the mistyped letters. Just write down what's in your head.

I absolutely HATE doing this. I get frustrated and just start writing about how much I hate this non-stop tactic, so whatever idea I was trying to get across gets completely forgotten. I usually cheat and say some crude comment before writing "The End," giving me the ok to go back and re-write the story or the blog post how I want to.

But, as much as I HATE to admit it, it surprisingly helped.

I knew October was going to be a hard month after deciding to put aside the novel I'd spent the past year working on. I accepted it and told myself I just wouldn't write anything until November. Start fresh with the new month.

And while I have been a good girl and worked on a new story for the minimum one hour per day, it has been terribly slow going. I'd write a line then sit and contemplate it and the entire story for several minutes before writing the next line. It wasn't so much that I didn't like the story (I actually think it could be really good) as it was I was afraid to start something new and "fail" again.

I know "fails" not the right word. I didn't "fail" at my last story--it was great practice and I can still go back to it when I'm a better writer. But knowing and feeling are two separate things. And many times your feelings can block out logic. And they can stop you from moving on. They can paralyze you.

Even trying to write a new blog post was hard. So, I did what any paralyzed person does--I did my exercises. I wrote without stopping. It was hard, and I hated it. But it helped me break through my writing paralysis. Now I've got a nice cohesive blog post.

Hopefully this will carry over to my novel--and to my life in general.

So, my question to you is: What's some fear that you've had to overcome?
And my challenge to you: Don't let your fears stop you. I basically wasted a whole month stewing in my own self-doubt, and I almost let it carry over into this new month. There's too many exciting experiences to be had to let that much time slip by un-used.

Step 65: Don't be Afraid to let Things go--for the Time Being, Anways.

It's very hard to stop working on something that you've spent the past year of your life on, even when you think it might be time to move on.

As most of you know, I've been working on a young adult novel since I graduated college (well, minus those first few months were all I did was sleep and not unpack all of my crap), and it has been one of the most enlightening experiences I've ever had. I've scribbled down a rough draft and notes that I can barely decipher, I've talked about it with both published and aspiring writers and received valuable input from them, I've gotten through writers blocks with the help of friends and family, and after about 4 months I proved to myself that I could write a, for the most part, complete novel (just ignore that Chapter 11 is only three paragraphs long and the ending is almost literally a cliff hanger).

After I finished my rough draft, I had to do some major revamping, and while I was initially enjoying the extreme editing process, the deeper I dove into the story, the more I started to feel like it wasn't a unique story that would capture people's attention in the way that I wanted it to. Again as most of you know, this story is highly influenced by the How to Train Your Dragon series. As I've been tweaking and re-writing, what originally felt like my own work inspired by and honoring Cressida Cowell's and DreamWork's stories now seems like fan-fiction. Of course, I had my own twists and turns and a completely different writing style, but the similarities between my story and HTTYD just glared out at me. I tried to make changes, but when you've become so invested in your characters and their lives, it's hard to completely re-write them.

It's been tough these past few months--it's felt like a chore to sit down and work on my story. I know sometimes it's supposed to feel like that. There were times when I was writing the first draft where I felt like that (dang you, Chapter 11!). I know it could have just felt like that because I've had so many other exciting, new things going on recently. But for the past couple weeks there's been something more nagging me in the back of my mind.

I love this story, and I want to do right by it. I think it has the potential to be something great. But I don't think I have the experience to do that at this point in my life. It is so, so hard for me to do this--it's taken me two hours just to get my thoughts all in order and convince myself that it's the right thing to do, and I've been crying damn near the whole time. I'm so afraid that I'm going to come across as a failure or a quitter--so afraid that I'll actually become a failure and a quitter and never get this story or any others published.

But I've got to try to not worry so much about the future. I write because I like making up stories, and I want to share those stories so that others can enjoy them as much as I do. If I'm not enjoying writing a story, how can anyone else enjoy reading it? So with that in mind, I've decided to put my first young adult novel aside for a while. I hope to one day go back to it and make it into the page-turner that I know it can be, but for right now I'm going to leave it alone.

Don't think this means I won't be writing anymore! National Novel Writing Month is 27 days away! Time to decide what my next novel's going to be about!

So my question to you: What should I write about next?! I've got loads of ideas that have been sitting on the back burner--I've got a couple different ones about dragons (no, I'm not obsessed). One about cyborgs (I'm sort of leaning towards this one). Another about angels (look out, Lauren get's religious :P). I've even got one about vampires (haha, who am I kidding--if my first novel was too fan-fiction-y, there's no way in hell this one wouldn't be fan fiction even if I came up with the idea WAY BEFORE STEPHANIE MYER THAT BITCH).

And my challenge to you: Don't be afraid to let things go. You can always come back to them when you're at a better place in your life.

Step 64: It's Been a While Since I've Been to a Wedding

In the past two years since my graduation, I have been invited to and attended more weddings than should be legal in such a short time span (I've even got ANOTHER wedding tomorrow). All the weddings I've been to so far have been for younger couples--people who are entranced by their first true loves and are doefully optimistic about their futures. A lot of the newly-weds were fresh out of college, ready to start their lives.

But my cousin's wedding last Friday night was one for the more mature audience. Starting the second half of her life, my cousin and her husband have had plenty of ups and downs, first and second and third true loves, and a wide variety of jobs and hobbies. They've had experience, and from that experience they know exactly what they want out of life. Out of a partner. Out of a wedding. And what they want is Josh Kaufman, last year's winner of The Voice!

Seriously, though, the groom's gift to his new wife was to show how much he loved her. I've seen equally as meaningful gestures from other newly weds and longtime partners, just on smaller scales. When you're young and just starting out your life, you've got to know that right now your signs of love may be small. Someday you might be in a stable enough position to make those grand gestures that you dream of doing now. Someday, you might not. The important thing is that your actions, no matter how big or small, show how you truly feel about the other person.

So my question to you: What's the sweetest thing your partner has ever done for you? It can be as big as booking your favorite artist for a private party or as small as breakfast in bed on your second month anniversary.

And my challenge to you: Do something every day to show your significant other just how much they mean to you.

Step 63: Have a Literacy Filled Weekend

All this excitement happened last weekend, and I've needed all week to recover before I could write about it. On Saturday, September 20, the day started with children's stories and ended with drunken librarians and authors. ;)

Now, I don't know if the librarians from my new work went home and got drunk themselves, but they certainly deserved it after pulling off such a huge (and pretty successful) early literacy fair called BOUNCE at the Carmel Clay Public Library. They had at least 500 kids and parents going from one fun station to another, making crafts, singing songs, and listening to stories. I helped man a few of these stations, and even got to dress up as Pete the Cat. The kids loved getting hugs and high-fives from some of their favorite book characters.

After BOUNCE, I could have continued to be Pete the Cat--people came to the Indianapolis Literary Pub Crawl dressed up as all kinds of different book characters--but it's really hard to walk in those costumes, and while it's called a "crawl," I didn't think you were actually supposed to drag yourself along. Plus, the people attending this event were of a more mature nature, so a children's book character might not have been the best choice. So I ditched the costume and just enjoyed the themed drinks and the conversations. Inebriated librarians and book nerds are very fun to talk to. And Mike Mullin, author of the Ashfall three-and-a-halfology was there. He's always very interesting to listen to. Anyone who participated in the crawl got a signed copy of the first book in his series.

So my question to you: What's your favorite book? I know, for some that's like asking a mother who her favorite child is. For me, I have to break it down into categories. Harry Potter is my favorite main stream series, Cirque Du Freak is my favorite lesser known series (though I'm happy to say it's gotten more popular over the years), Ashfall is my favorite local series, How to Train Your Dragon is my favorite children's series, The Fault in Our Stars is my favorite local stand alone book, and either The Last Dog on Earth or Full Tilt are my favorite stand alone books.

And my challenge to you: Give a children's picture book a read. I've been picking out one a night and have found quite a few that I enjoy. I Know a Bear almost made me cry!

Step 62: Organize Your New Desk

Look! I've got my very own desk! I've never worked someplace where I've had my own desk before. You'll see that Olivar's picture is proudly displayed. I've already had several co-workers call him out on his weight. :) But it's ok because a lot of the librarians in the Children's and Youth Services Department at Carmel Clay Public Library are animal lovers.

I think I'm going to like this new job. Not that I ever go into a job thinking I'm not going to enjoy the work (I'm of the mindset that it's better to take a job that you're interested in over a job that pays more, so I've always applied for positions I think I'll like), but everyone here has been so welcoming and helpful. And it's a position that will keep me close to books while continuing to make a difference in my community.

So my question to you: What's the scariest thing about starting a new job? Surprisingly for this job, it was what to wear! I'm so used to throwing on work jeans and a t-shirt that finding a nice big girl outfit was a real stressor!
And my challenge to you: Put something funny/cute on your desk at work--it's a great way to get conversations started. :)

Step 61: Take a Hiatus from any Sort of Organized Routine

Wow. So, it's been just short of a month since my last blog post--on ANY of my blog pages. Clearly I had my priorities straight this August. :P

Seriously, though. It's important to go on those impromptu lunches with your great aunt from out of state. Hosting a Damsels in Defense Party is vital, because everyone needs to be safe when they leave their homes for the adult world. Pulling together a couple of friends last minute to go to a Goo Goo Dolls and Daughtry concert that your dad managed to snag free tickets for is fun. Making sure your mom's caught up on the greatest kids movies from last year is a must for both of your's sanity. Getting a new job is exciting with just a hint of terror. Going to your five year class reunion is--well, it's supposed to be fun, but you'll probably just end up spending the whole evening with the same people you've been talking to since you graduated high school. Drinking wine while alternating between episodes of Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Futurama makes for a good night. It's considerate to work extra hours when your place of employment is short staff. It's also considerate to drive your neighbor's kids to daycare when she has to work. Celebrating your grandma's Birthday with massages is supposed to be relaxing, but it's actually sort of painful. Meeting your lil' sis from college to watch the best Marvel superhero movie to-date will probably be your best movie choice of the summer. Finishing up The Legend of Korra with your cartoon-watching-buddy is both up-lifting (Yeah, Bolin!) and depressing (pull yourself together, Korra!). Sending your cousin off to college makes your feel old. And seeing Rod Tuffcurls and the Bench Press--need I say more?

The point of that huge paragraph (and congrats if you actually read the whole thing, because I almost didn't finish writing it!) is that you need to take time to be with your family and your friends and have crazy adventures and relaxing evenings. You can't enjoy life if you're always stuck in front of a computer screen.

So, my question to you: What was something you did this past month?
And my challenge to you: Do something impromptu--I promise, it'll be worth it!

Step 60: Meet Some Very Talkative Ladies at a Restaurant

So I'm trying to be one of those people who sits outside of restaurants and Starbucks, milking my $2 drink for an hour, so I can justify using the company's free wi-fi while I pretend to write. You know, in the hopes that some cute guy will awkwardly sit next to me and say "What are you working on?" And I'll tell him I'm writing a novel, and we'll geek out over the latest books, and he'll offer to buy me another drink so we can stop getting angry stares from the poor high schooler who just wants to close up shop early and go home.

Trying to re-create a cheesy romance movie scene in the midwest is harder than it seems, though. But it's also more fun.

Instead of the cute boy, I got a table full of very talkative black women. What appeared to be the matriarch of the family came over to me and said, "I'm sorry to bother you, but do you like math?" Of course, I'd always done well in math, and even tutored algebra and statistics in college, but obviously as a writer I wouldn't say math is my favorite subject. I told her I did enjoy it, though, and she calls over a younger girl. She was working on stuff that I hadn't touched in well over a year, logs and cos and tans and all that crazyness (actually, now that I think about it, it's probably been over 5 years--I don't recall ever helping my tutees with that stuff in college). I started panicking, thinking, "Oh God, please don't ask me to help."

Maybe that was their original plan, but they quickly changed path, probably sensing that I'd long since shoved that junk out of my brain to make room for new information. The older woman proceeded to offer me a cookie and tell me about how smart the girl was, that she had good grades and was a good student, but was still struggling with this class (I can relate!). Then, just as quickly as she came to my table, she moved on to another woman walking by in some really cute high heels.

What I'm assuming was the younger girl's mother (though she could have been an older sister) quickly took the place of the first woman and continued the conversation about the student for just a little while more before asking what I'd gone to school for. I told her professional writing and she seemed very impressed by that. She said that I had an aura of intelligence about me and wished me luck in my work before returning back to her table, the younger girl following her.

It always amazes me how people can go up to perfect strangers and start up a conversation. I love being a part of these special happenstances. I wish I was brave enough to iniate them. You learn all kinds of interesting things about different kinds of people.

So, my question to you is: Tell me about a unique run-in you've had with a complete stranger.
And my callenge to you: Be the complete stranger to start up a conversation. Most of the time, us loners don't mind an interruption in our work. :)

Step 59 Part N: End on a Positive Note

After traveling thousands of miles, seeing new and exciting sights, and meeting all kinds of people, it can be sort of a bummer to come back to the familiarity of home. That's why it's so important that your trip end on a positive note. And the best kind of positive note is that involving your pets.

Sadly, we had to wait until the next day to pick up our dog Lexi (who, of course, spazzed out when went to get her), but the cats were just as excited to see us. Peri, the baby of the group and most needy, was waiting by the back door when I walked in and started weaving around my legs. I scooped him up in my arms and squeezed him while he purred. As Chrissy and Arlo realized that it wasn't the now-slightly-less-horrible-since-he'd-been-feeding-them neighbor boy who'd come in, they came out of hiding. After a few pets for Arlo, he was ready for food, and after some intense apologies to the princess, Chrissy would allow me to hold her.

I had to go in search of my sleepy baby Olivar and found him in his usual hideout--my mom's closet. The minute he saw me, he popped out and demanded attention, purring profusely. All of the cats kept close to us that night, Chrissy sleeping with me while all the boys were in with mom.

To be loved that much when you return from vacation is what reminds you that being home isn't all that lame. Sure, there are amazing experiences to be had in far away lands, but there are also friends and family and pets that make your home life just as awesome.

Step 59 Part M: Go to the Mall of America

What's the fun in having a hotel right next to the Mall of America if you don't go there? And I gotta say--not really sure what the big hype is. Yes, it's a HUGE mall, but being so big, it makes it hard to find certain shops and almost impossible to see everything (unless you want to spend all day walking around there and spending lots of money--neither of which sounds very attractive at the end of your vacation). Plus, there are a lot of people crowding around in there (though I'll admit, I think the crowds at Old Faithful were worse).

But you can't beat an indoor amusement park.

 

Correction: You can beat an indoor amusement park only when the rides are Nickelodeon themed!

And no, I actually wasn't always the oldest person on the rides--some of them were pretty intense and called to those of us who are still kids at the base of our personalities. This was indeed the coolest part about the Mall of America, and when I have children of my own, we're totally coming back here. Heck, I might even kidnap some of my friends' children once their old enough!

Step 59 Part L: Drive for 17 Hours

The worst part about a trip is heading home. Especially when you have a twelve hour drive on one of the three travel-home-days. Especially when that twelve hour drive turns into a seventeen hour drive. Especially when that twelve-hour-turned-seventeen-hour drive takes you through a time change zone and you loose an hour.

But it wasn't all bad. Long drives across desolate highways make the perfect time to listen to books on tape. I used to listen to books on tape when I was little, but haven't done it in a long time. I wasn't sure I'd be able to focus on the story if I couldn't actually see the words, but it was surprisingly easy. The only downside was that I wasn't a huge fan of the readers. The girl who did Divergent was sort of monotone, and the guy who did The Maze Runner gave a black kid a southern white boy accent, a British boy some sort of Scottish/Australian/Irish misx (getting warmer), and an Asian guy an Indian/Mexican accent (and you lost me again). Still, I definitely recommend grabbing a big fat book that you've been wanting to read but haven't had the time for when getting ready for a long road trip. It helps keep you from going crazy.

Step 59 Part K: Go Horseback Riding

This step you've got to be really careful with--if luck's not with you, you could have a pretty boring experience. A long line of horses slowly plopping through the mud, no one to really talk to without someone having to crane their neck at an awkward angle, nothing super exciting to do besides keeping your horse from stopping and eating the grass. But if you go early in the season, you might get a smaller group going out on the ride, so your guide might be able to talk to all of you from his place at the front of the line, and the two little girls and their father who are riding in front of you might give you new title ideas for the novel you've been working on. Your guide will snatch up daisies for the little girls and try to get them to sing "Let it Go" while you and their father laugh from behind. And you'll have a nice peaceful ride up a mountain to a breathtaking overlook of the turquoise lake below you.

If you're a hardcore horsey girl that enjoys galloping through fields, this probably isn't the trip for you, but for a relaxing time through the woods, definitely check out the two hour ride from the Apgar Coral before the July crowds swarm in.

Step 59 Part J: Stay at Glacier Under Canvas

You can't go out west without camping at least once, and how nice is it to arrive at your camp site with your tent all set up and your sleeping bag rolled out? That's the royal treatment that you get at Glacier Under Canvas. All the staff was very nice, the tents and bathroom clean, and it was only a short drive from the West Glacier entrance. The only downside--you weren't allowed to have food at your tent (too much risk of attracting bears). So no s'mores at the camp fire. :(

Other than that, though, the camp grounds were very nice. I was surprisingly warm in the sleeping bags they provided (warmer than I was in the cabin, actually). If you find the tipis a little small, though, you can always upgrade to a safari.

Step 59 Part I: Go to Glacier National Park

You better do this step within the next 15 years, though--by 2030, they predict that all the glaciers in the park will have melted. And I can believe it. I only really saw one glacier (I did hike for 3 hours out to a spot where the ranger said I should be able to see another glacier, but it didn't really look like one to me). Below are some of my favorite pictures from Glacier, but if you'd like to check out all of my vacation photos, check my Facebook Page. They're all up there under my Westward Once More Album.

These cuties weren't actually in Glacier, they were right outside of it in the Blackfeet Reservation. It was so interesting to see the difference in ranching on the reservation versus the rest of Montana--hardly any fences. Most of the animals were free reign--including the dogs!

I hiked three hours up a mountain to this "trail block." Keep it classy, Glacier.

And this was the glacier I was supposed to be able to see from that trail block (Salamander Glacier). I guess. Looks like melting snow to me. The lake was a beautiful turquoise, though.

Here's a legit glacier. Jackson Glacier is the only one that you can see from the Going-to-the-Sun Road, which is the only road that cuts completely through the park. Half the time you can't even drive all the way through because the snow's blocking the road. Mom and I almost missed out, but luckily the day we were leaving (July 3), they finally opened it up. Very beautiful drive.

Not only do you see lots of snow on Going-to-the-Sun Road, but you also see lots of waterfalls. The water runs straight down the mountains and onto the road. They have drains on to the side of the road, but there's so much water that some of it spills out. And if you drive close enough to the rock wall, you'll get a free car wash. :)

You can also see fearless little marmots on Going-to-the-Sun Road. This cutie came right out and posed for pictures.

Besides the marmot, we saw deer, a bear, and (in this picture) a mama moose and her baby. We saw these guys over in the Many Glaciers Area. It's on the north/east side of the park, and has some beautiful hiking trails.

Saying goodbye to this beautiful place was hard.

Step 59 Part H: Take Lots of Animal and Pretty Scenery Pictures

From Yellowstone to Glacier National Park, there's nothing but cute (and potentially deadly) animals and beautiful (and again potentially deadly) landscape. I posted all of my vacation's pictures on my Facebook page, so check them out if you haven't already. Below are some of my favorite pictures from Yellowstone. Of course, I'm going to recommend that everyone get out to THE WORLD'S first National Park at some point in their life, though I would suggest getting Old Faithful and the other geysers and hot springs out of the way first and never ever going back to them. They are super cool to see, but they're also a beacon to every tourist, and as more and more people start realizing that Yellowstone's the place to go, the more chances you have of being pushed off the boardwalks by some rude person trying to get a seat before Old Faithful blows. Northern Yellowstone is the place to be, especially if you want to see animals and feel like you're actually in the wild.

There are TONS of bison in Yellowstone--this girl was just chilling by herself, though, walking into the sunrise.

The Caldera. You can't see the whole thing from land--it's a giant crater that encompasses much of Yellowstone and is a constant reminder of how huge the super volcano under the park can be when it blows again.

An elk on the horizon at sunrise.

Castle Geyser. I almost like this one more than Old Faithful--less crowded. It's in the same area as Old Faithful, though, and is pretty regular, so you should check out both if you get the chance.

About 12 years ago when I last came to Yellowstone, there were no little trees growing here--it was all burned, dead trees. It's amazing to see the change.

See the little white spot in the middle of the picture? We're pretty sure that's a wolf! We saw her and another white spot running up the hill and tried to get close enough to tell for sure, but she kept evading us (and we didn't have binoculars or scopes to get a better view of her). There's a small chance that it's a pronghorn deer. They can be lighter in color. But we saw a pronghorn running the next day, and it didn't look anything like the lope that these guys were doing. We saw these "wolf pronghorns" in the Blacktail Deer Plateau, but the best place to see wolves are in the Lamar Valley. The Hayden Valley also has some wolves, but I never saw any there. You sort of just gotta follow the professional wolf watchers. :)

Yellowstone Grand Canyon. Be careful not to slip!

Oh no! I slipped! Someone help!!!

Step 59 Part G: Stay in a Cabin

When going out west, it's only appropriate to expect that you'll be spending a few nights and/or mornings shivering in the cold as you lay in your tent. Seeing as I've already gotten to experience this twice, Mama thought it'd be a nice change of pace if we spent a few nights and/or mornings shivering in the cold as we lay in a little cabin.

Despite being a little chilly, though, The Roosevelt Lodge's Rough Rider Cabin was actually pretty nice (especially for it's price). It didn't have it's own shower or toilet, but the fancier Frontier Cabins do. Definitely a fine alternative to the extremes of hard core camping and pampered hotel rooms.

Step 59 Part F: Speak for Wolves

And now for the main event--Speak for Wolves. This three-day rally was what brought mom and me out west and was very informative. They had special screenings of documentaires, activitists (picture 1 is Bret Haverstick, the man who put together this amazing gathering) and scientists presenting data to support the continued protection of wolves as well as other animals found in the area, authors, interpretive dancers, music (picture 2 is GoodShield Aguilar--check him out, his music is great!), and, to quote Jimmy St. Goddard of the Blackfeet Indian Tribe himself, "a crazy Indian" (see him in picture 3).

It was crazy how passionate everyone was. Crazy in a good way, yes--they provided some solid evidence and had some great stories--but also... almost too crazy. I guess sometimes you've got to get like that when you're really passionate about something. But... there was a rancher there that got a hold of the microphone and started telling his opinions. He wasn't being rude (though maybe he was monopolizing the microphone), but I did start feeling the same scared way I did when that man confronted mom and me is North Dakota. I wasn't afraid of the rancher, though. I was afraid of the wolf people. They were not going to listen to him, and they made that clear. Maybe he really was a jerk that didn't deserve to be listened to (I'd heard rumors that he'd been making threats), but to see how angry the rally people got--they were only slightly less vicious than the man from ND (to their major credit, I never heard one of them threaten the rancher).

I don't want wolves to be killed anymore than the super enthusiastic activists--in an ideal world, humans would just back off and let nature do what it needs to do. But we don't live in an ideal world. We live in a world of compromise. And it makes me sad that more people don't accept this. They just keep fighting and fighting for what they want, and the other side fights back, and nothing gets accomplished. If you compromise, at least you're getting something done. Even the smallest thing now can lead to bigger changes down the road.

One of my favorite speakers, Mike Mease from the Buffalo Field Campaign (pictured 4th), said "Individually we're fingers. Together we make a fist." I'm pretty sure he was leaning more towards the idea that all environmentalists should come together regardless of their different areas of expertise, but I like to think that it could work with opposing sides as well. Maybe I'm just too opptimistic. Or naive. I know I don't have near the doe-eyed hopefulness that I used to have before college and before this rally, but if the world is going to have so many extreme people, it can't hurt to have another in-the-middle girl.

Step 59 Part E: Stand on Pompey's Pillar

Before you even get to your destination, it's always fun to stop at random roadside attractions, and while Pompey's Pillar's not a cheesy, money stealing scam, it is a stop on the old highway that people might not know about until they pass half a dozen signs and read a small description about it at Montana's visitor center. For $7, it actually is a pretty neat rest stop. You walk up this big ass rock on the edge of the Yellowstone River, talk to some nice volunteers, and get your picture taken next to the only surviving signature that William Clark left while he and Lewis trekked across the country back in 1806 claiming new lands for the US. If you're ever in the Yellowstone County area and have the time to spare, check it out. Even if you're not a fan of dead men's tags, the marmots that hang out around the rock are super cute to look at!

Step 59 Part D: Don't Get Eaten by Bears

I know you guys were worried. I said I'd keep you updated about my trip, and here I've gone 5 days without a word. But fear not! I wasn't eaten by bears! I just got really busy looking at bears. And wolves. And other furry animals. But now I've got 3 days of boring driving to write about it all, so until I get my next post up, here's some of the pictures of the bears that I wasn't eaten by. :)
1) A mama black bear
2) Her two babies
3) Scarface, a 20-something famous grizzlie of Yellowstone
4) A bear I saw at a gas station

Step 59 Part C: Stand Your Ground

I told you guys today would be more exciting; though, I wasn't expecting the excitement to be first thing in the morning in the hotel parking lot--or so upsetting.

My mom and I were leaving our hotel in Bismark, North Dakota (I was wearing a wolf shirt) when a guy called to us across the parking lot and asked if we wanted to hear about how cruel the wolves are to the moose in Montana. "You know what piranha are? That's what wolves do to the moose."

People, I've done my research. I'm not just some crazy hippie who wants to look longingly into a wolf's eye and have a deep meaningful connection (and no offense to those who are--just, don't stare a wolf in the eye--that's a sign of aggression). I've looked at the "SAVE THE MOOSE" websites and seen the gory pictures. I've read the articles about farmers "losing" money when a wild animal kills their livestock. But you know what... the wolves are just acting in their natural way. Moose die. They get ripped to shreds by a hungry pack. They get eaten. Cows die. Sometimes wolves realize it's easier to get a penned in animal than a wild one. The government is supposed to be paying the farmers when this happens. This is life.

But of course, I couldn't say any of this to the angry white man. I was too busy trying not to cry as he confronted my mom. Not that it would have done any good. My mom tried arguing with him, and he just turned the piranhas on her.

I don't understand why people have to get so mean. I didn't care if he liked moose. We didn't go up to him and ask him to support wolves. I was just wearing a wolf shirt, minding my own business, excited to finally get back to Yellowstone. And because of him I was afraid to get out of the car the rest of the trip though ND.

I know I should be expecting this kind of prejudice. I know I shouldn't let it get to me. I know I should be prepared to defend the animals that I've loved since I was in second grade. But it's really hard when they get so rude about it. I'm naturally a shy, nervous girl anyways--throw in a stranger who is, by my definition and no one elses, yelling at me, and I run.

You shouldn't have to run away from the stuff you love though. I might not like arguments, but I do love wolves. And if someone wants to talk to me about how vicious they are, I will give them their chance. I'll listen to what they have to say, learn more about what is perceived of wolves, and when they've gotten their views out, I'll politely ask (not yell across a parking lot) if they'd like to hear my opinion. If they do, then I'll know they're good people who's concerns are just different from my own. If they don't, I'll know they're dicks whose opinions don't really matter and hopefully be able to laugh it off and feel secure enough to get out of the car when I have to pee, haha! :)

Step 59 Part B: Drive Through the Hometown of the Ringling Brother's Circus

Baraboo's not just a great name for a dog--it's also the sketchy little town that brought us one of the greatest circuses of America! The only downside is the lack of Zanzibar chocolate ice cream.

Step 59 Part A: Head Out West!

It's been a long time since I last traveled westward, but not much has changed. My mom and I still left an hour later than we said we would; got stuck in traffic; laughed at weird sights along the road (plastic cows standing on top of a propane tank were pretty funny); ate lunch at a cute little local restaurant in Crown Point that served a dish they called "Viking" (which of course I got--it was ok, but instead of American pancakes it came with skinny Swedish pancakes which are not quite as good); sang songs; and got lost around nasty Chicago and ended up headed to not-Minesota-Milwaukee, which didn't end up being such a bad thing 'cause we were still headed in the general direction of our hotel in Wisconsin.

All this, and this was the shortest day of travel! Tomorrow's 10 hours should be interesting (and by interesting I mean so boring that we both go crazy and start pretending that we're Hans Solo and Chewy driving through space, making little pew sounds as we shoot at all the semis driving past). Keep an eye on my blog to hear about all the adventures as my mom and I make our way to Yellowstone and Glacier National Park!

Step 58: Get WAY too Excited About a Children's Movie

Yes. Costumes were involved. Toy dragons were bought, a screening of the first How to Train Your Dragon movie was enjoyed while eating food from a Chinese restaurant named Happy Dragon (and one of us might have eaten a sea food dish, since fish is the primary diet of dragons), duck-faced selfies were taken, and pets were abused. All of this for a sequel to a children's movie.

Man, was it worth it. And not just because the movie was awesome (if you'd like to read my full opinion on it, you can check out my review by clicking here). It was worth it because even though I'm a college grad who's admittedly probably a tad bit too enthusiastic when it comes to children's stories (for this series alone, I've watched all the mini movies, every episode of the television series, and have even gotten through 8 of the 11 books), I was still able to find other college grads who had an appropriate amount of excitement for such affairs and joined (or tried to join) me in watching a movie that I'd been waiting to see since the credits started rolling at the end of the first film. Friends from college and friends from my hometown came together to see the early showing of How to Train Your Dragon 2 with me, and when you think about it, how often do your college buddies intermingle with your childhood friends?

That's why you should get WAY too excited about about a children's movie at least once in your life. Heck, I'll even allow getting way too excited  for a young adult movie. It's just gotta be one where you've got a special bond between it and a bunch of your friends--one where you can have a really good time with it. The How to Train Your Dragon series has been one of the best for me because it brought together everyone from middle school librarians, crazed college age kids, reluctant 20-somethings, and mature young adults in a fun way. Even the ones who weren't able to make it to the early showing were part of the discussions and had the "joy" of listening to me freak out. :)

So, my question to you: What's a movie that you and your friends get pumped about? Back in the good old days, it was Harry Potter for me.
And my challenge to you: Go see How to Train Your Dragon 2!